Thursday, April 7, 2011
I am absolutely aphalled at recent events in my locality. My husband has had the police called for his violent yelling 3 times in the past week. The first time, he was arrested for violating our protective order which states he must maintain peaceful and lawful contact with me. The officers took him to jail where they held him about 8hrs, long enough for him to "sober up" from the beer he'd consumed earlier that night. The second time was an hour after he was RELEASED FROM JAIL FOR VIOLATING THE P.O. because he was threatening me and attempting to break my laptop in a fit of rage. The officer that responded did nothing, stating that "peaceful and lawful contact" was too broad a spectrum and that they couldn't take him in unless they were sure he understood what it meant. I said to them, "Well, considering he just got out of jail I would be inclined to believe that he DOES know." Nothing resulted from that call ecxept his severe irritation with me for the next few days. Early this morning, the police were called the third time over him yelling at me and the officer arrested him and took him in, only to have the MAGISTRATE now refuse to press the charges and instruct the officer to return him home, where I, of course, was subject to his bad attitude and bouts of rage for the remainder of the day. Child Protective Services said that they would help me, but instead of issuing an order to remove HIM, since he is only ONE person and has his mother's home that he could go to, they think it would be better for ME to pick up my 2 kids and try to get out of here in one piece without losing irreplaceable items, like letters my father sent me before he passed away. I don't understand why she thinks it is easier to uproot 3 people instead of just one, but apparently in her mind, that is the best option. Not too mention that I have a limited income, not so great credit, and no current resources to assist me in moving. I would not be able to take any furniture for my children or myself, and would therefore be VIOLATING cps rules that require a bed for each child. It is a catch 22 situation where I, and my children suffer daily at the hands of a verbally, emotionally abusive person and WE are the ones being told to find a way to leave. The waiting lists for public housing are at least a year long, meaning I would be stuck here until that time is up. Who knows what could happen in that period of time. Why on Earth would they not just issue a No Contact Order forcing him to leave, even if it were only until I found other accomodations to save the kids from the daily tension, arguing, and feelings of discomfort. Well....I am complying with everything they are asking me to do, and so far, she has even heard him yelling at me over nothing important and knows that he is an angry person. I do not know what more hoops I have to jump through or put the kids through to get help, but I finally reach out for it and all I am getting is resistance and obstacles. I do so hate how the victims are always the ones that seem to have to pay the price for the criminals. We are the ones forced to try to find living arrangements, not him. I have worked and put money into the household our entire relationship, while he has never worked. And apparently, everything I have worked for I will have to lose to ensure my safety and the safety of the kids while he is allowed to be abusive, get his way, and keep everything that I've worked so hard to attain. Fair, huh?? RIIIIIGHT.